Who This Service Is For
This service is for couples who are trying to find their way through the aftermath of infidelity, an affair, emotional betrayal, pornography or sexual secrecy, or another significant breach of trust.
Sometimes the discovery was recent and everything feels like a crisis.
Other times, the affair happened months or years ago, but the relationship never truly recovered.
You may be the person who was betrayed.
You're replaying conversations in your head. You're checking phones. You're asking questions you never thought you'd ask. You can't stop wondering what else you don't know. You may want to trust again but feel like your nervous system won't let you.
Or you may be the person who was unfaithful.
You may feel guilt, shame, confusion, or regret. You may desperately want to repair the relationship but don't know how to answer the questions, rebuild credibility, or understand what led you here.
Or perhaps you're both simply exhausted.
Every conversation eventually returns to the affair. One person wants to talk about it constantly; the other feels trapped in an endless interrogation. You may be sleeping separately, struggling with intimacy, fighting more than ever, or wondering whether staying together is even possible.
At your worst, you may be thinking:
"How can I ever trust you again?"
or
"How can I prove that I won't do this again?"
or simply:
"What are we supposed to do now?"
The Specific Root Causes
The Shock of Betrayal
Infidelity doesn't only create hurt. It can disrupt someone's sense of safety and certainty. The betrayed partner may question the relationship, their own judgment, and even which parts of their shared history were real.
Unanswered Questions and Uncertainty
After discovery, people often become desperate for information. Without clarity and honesty, uncertainty can fuel repeated questioning, checking, suspicion, and conflict.
Broken Trust
Trust isn't rebuilt simply by promising that it won't happen again. The injured partner often needs consistent evidence of honesty, transparency, responsiveness, and accountability over time.
The Relationship Beneath the Affair
An affair does not excuse betrayal, and responsibility for the betrayal remains important. At the same time, couples may eventually need to understand the relational, individual, and emotional conditions that existed before the affair if they hope to create a different relationship going forward.
How We Help
Our Approach
I use a relational approach informed primarily by Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), along with family-systems, Gottman, and other evidence-informed approaches as appropriate.
The goal isn't to rush you toward forgiveness or tell you whether you should stay married.
First, we need to create enough safety to understand what happened and what each person is experiencing.
From there, therapy may focus on:
- processing the injury
- establishing honesty and accountability
- understanding the cycle that has developed since discovery
- communicating without escalating
- rebuilding emotional safety
- addressing questions and uncertainty
- understanding the factors that contributed to the affair
- rebuilding trust through consistent behavior
- determining what moving forward should look like
What a Session Looks Like
Some sessions may involve difficult conversations about the affair itself. Others may focus on the emotional aftermath, communication, trust, intimacy, or the relationship patterns that existed before the betrayal.
I won't ask you to simply "get over it."
I also won't reduce the relationship to the affair.
The work is to understand what happened, take the betrayal seriously, and determine what needs to change for healing and a healthier relationship to become possible.
Our Experience
My training as a marriage and family therapist provides a systemic perspective on relational injury. I am interested not only in what happened, but in what happens between you now: the questions, defensiveness, pursuit, withdrawal, anger, fear, shame, and longing that can keep couples trapped after betrayal.
Why Choose Us
Therapy can help couples:
- Talk about the betrayal without every conversation becoming a new explosion.
- Understand the emotional impact of what happened.
- Create greater honesty and accountability.
- Begin rebuilding trust through consistent, meaningful change.
- Reconnect emotionally when both partners are ready.
- Make thoughtful decisions about the future rather than reacting from crisis.
Healing doesn't necessarily mean pretending the betrayal didn't happen.
It means creating enough understanding, honesty, and safety to determine what comes next.
What to Expect
The First Session
The first session is about understanding the situation and establishing a starting point.
We'll talk about what happened, when you learned about it, what has happened since discovery, and what each of you hopes therapy can accomplish.
You don't need to arrive knowing whether you want to stay married.
Will We Ever Meet Individually?
Sometimes individual sessions can be useful, particularly when there are sensitive issues that need additional context. Any individual work will be discussed openly and thoughtfully.
The goal is not to create an alliance with one partner against the other.
How Long Does Recovery Take?
Betrayal recovery is rarely a quick process. The timeline depends on factors such as the length and nature of the betrayal, whether the affair has ended, how much information is known, the willingness to be accountable, and the couple's history.
Some couples experience meaningful stabilization relatively quickly. Rebuilding deep trust and intimacy often takes considerably longer.
Logistics
In-Person or Virtual?
For betrayal recovery, many couples prefer in-person sessions because the work can be emotionally intense and having a dedicated environment can be helpful. Virtual sessions are also available.
Session Length
Sessions are 50 minutes.
Investment
Standard therapy sessions are $155 per 50-minute session.
Renew Relational Therapy is private pay and out of network. Superbills are available for possible out-of-network reimbursement.
